Recognizing Social Anxiety in your Child: How to Help them Cope
Social anxiety is a common and often debilitating psychological condition characterized by an overwhelming fear of social interactions and situations. Individuals who experience social anxiety tend to feel excessively self-conscious and anxious in social encounters. Social anxiety in young children can leave them yearning for acceptance and understanding in a world that often feels overwhelmingly daunting.
This fear can extend to various aspects of their lives, including initiating conversations, trying new things, or even eating in front of others. Social anxiety can be a significant barrier to personal growth, affecting your child’s self-esteem. Understanding the nature of social anxiety is essential for both those who experience it and those seeking to support them, as it can lead to effective strategies for coping. In this blog, we will further examine the signs of social anxiety your child may be presenting and coping exercises to help minimize the symptoms of anxiety.
Symptoms and Triggers
Common anxiety symptoms can manifest both physically and emotionally. Physically, individuals may experience increased heart rate, muscle tension, and shallow breathing. Emotionally, anxiety often leads to excessive worry, fear, restlessness, and irritability. Children who experience anxiety may also have personality traits of being perfectionist or overly self-critical. Social pressures and societal expectations may habilitate feelings of anxiety and trigger anxious responses. Recognizing these symptoms and triggers is the first step towards managing and seeking help for anxiety-related social withdrawals. Let’s go over a couple of exercises that can minimize feelings of anxiety and motivate your child to persevere in social interactions. The first step is to not downplay their feelings. Instead, empathize with your child and endeavor to connect with them, communicate that social anxiety is a shared experience, something even their friends can relate to.
Plan and Communicate Expectations
Talk through situations your child may often experience. Give them an example of a social interaction and ask them questions.
“How would you feel in that situation?”
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“What’s the hardest part about that?”
By having these types of conversations, you can give your child realistic expectations and minimize their fear of the unknown and rejection. Receiving their responses to certain situations can also help you distinguish their triggers and offer your support when such triggers present themselves.
Role Play
After giving your child realistic expectations you can begin role-playing interactions they may have. An exercise I highly recommend is having your child order at a restaurant. Choose a restaurant they are familiar with and a place that serves their favorite meal. Prepare your child by discussing things that could go wrong: “What if the waiter can't hear you?”. Give them time to answer before advising. Make sure to start small; offer your child assistance by asking them yes or no questions in front of the waiter.
“Do you want a pizza or chicken strips?”
Have your child respond yes or no, give them 20 seconds to respond then let them answer by whispering to you if they need to. Be patient with your child as it may take a couple of tries for them to rehearse this out loud.
Offer Support After
After the interaction, reflect with your child on the experience. Let them express their thoughts and feelings first. Having their own sense of progress leads to the quicker development of confidence. Offer praise and point out something they did well, even if the experience didn't quite go as planned.
Seek Professional Guidance
If your child experiences unmanageable and overwhelming feelings of anxiety that limit their ability to interact and enjoy life, I highly recommend seeking the help of a licensed therapist. With proper guidance and understanding, children with social anxiety can learn to navigate social situations with increased confidence and ease.